@@ -9,7 +9,6 @@ A career-limiting card game.
99A dancing cryptographer.
1010A genuine attempt to configure IPsec.
1111A hand wavy argument.
12- A long-term nonce.
1312A non-fabricated use of pairings.
1413A painfully slow Tor masturbation session.
1514A popup Skype notification from ``lovemachine69'' during my keynote talk.
@@ -29,7 +28,6 @@ An ``anonymous'' reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author.
2928An inappropriate workplace romance.
3029An insecure VPN straight to the Kremlin.
3130An overfull hbox.
32- An overlooked patent.
3331Arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question.
3432Asking for 2 room keys during check-in, knowing full well I'm not getting laid.
3533Bart Preneel's \\ private key.
@@ -53,7 +51,6 @@ Doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97\%.
5351Double ROT-13.
5452Drinking alone.
5553Dropping the word Blockchain into my research proposal as many times as possible.
56- Dual\_EC\_DRBG.
5754Encrypted database security definitions.
5855Explaining what my job is at a family reunion.
5956Falling asleep in a 5-person meeting.
@@ -70,11 +67,9 @@ Getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table.
7067Getting tenure, then chilling the f--- right out!
7168Getting turned on by a proof.
7269Going straight to journal.
73- Government-mandated backdoors.
7470HTTPS everywhere!
7571Hands-on supervision.
7672Having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2.
77- Hiding my conflict of interest.
7873Hillary Clinton's BlackBerry.
7974Home-baked, snake oil crypto.
8075Ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately.
@@ -114,7 +109,6 @@ Publishing anyway.
114109Purchasing the Springer hardcopies I publish in because my mom is collecting them.
115110Putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded.
116111Quadruple XOR.
117- Quantum key distribution.
118112Quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards.
119113Reading the person in front's emails.
120114Relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows.
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