confusing packet ordering

[seam345]

I feel like i've missed a setting or I set something up wrong.

However with a Phillips hue light (or any device) if I send a change of state set state to off (topic zigbee2mqtt/<friendly light name>/set payload {"state": "Off"}) I will get a MQTT response to say the light has changed before the light has sent a zigbee ack, i will even get a mqtt response if the light never responds, and the mqtt response is to tell me the light has successfully turned off (topic zigbee2mqtt/<friendly light name> payload {"state": "OFF" "brightness": 100, ...})

Using the web ui and i click off and on the toggle wont change until the light responds.

This makes it impossible to use with any certainty if i just subscribe to zigbee2mqtt/<friendly name> and make light changes to zigbee2mqtt/<friendly name>/set. all i know for certain is z2m has got the message not that the device has changed state.

is there a setting i’m missing or is there a different topic i can subscribe to to know for certainty the state of the device?
i believe i could watch the firehose of logs to get a timeout exceeded error? might be a bit over the top though