Conflict - Do you fix problems quickly?- Chewing the Fat 📈

[piers-sinclair]

Contributors: @UlyssesMaclaren @pierssinclairssw @adamcogan

Let's talk about this rule:
https://ssw.com.au/rules/fix-problems-quickly/

[GordonBeeming]

I like these kinds of topics.

Software developers often don't focus on the people side of being a great developer. Later down, when some of the situations arise spoken about in some of the rules, like promotions or getting the "cool" project, don't go their way, they only realize the value of being able to communicate better with others in different roles and levels of experience, and to some degree have to play a lot of catchup.

[billyterblanche]

+1 for this weeks topic

I think communication is difficult to get right, but such an important skill to have. It affects our personal life and professional.

A good read related to this topic is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

[premradhakrishnan]

I learnt about pushing back at the right time. Conflict management and resolution are skills every person needs to learn not just for at work but in everyday life too. Having a framework such as SSW Rules can certainly help with this.

[tiagov8]

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[2fernandez]

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[AlexRothwell]

I think this is an important topic, especially as consultants; we need to manage our relationships with clients on a daily basis. Thankfully, so far at SSW all of my clients have been wonderful to work with, so conflict management and getting communications clear has not been an issue

[ozdemir-mehmet]

Always be respectful, even when you disagree. Avoid attacking the other person or their ideas and focus on the issue at hand.

[JackDevAU]

Communication is such a critical aspect in life, even more so working as a consultant. The rules have some good examples and tips to make sure we all understand how to avoid and fix problems :)

[apforsyth]

Conflict is part of life, it's only a question of how you approach it. Sometimes I wish it wasn't! I am not afraid of it, but I am not afraid of anchovies either (just disgusting!)

[Hona]

I think it’s all about how you frame the conflict. When approaching a problem, do you get defensive, do you reason it off?

It’s always useful to remember the relationship rule of: you and me vs the problem, not you vs me - which is how these things can go

[matt-goldman]

There are two aspects to conflict management. The first is the one people talk about the most - managing emotions. This includes yours, and the other parties, or all parties if you're mediating/de-escalating.

The second, and perhaps most overlooked, is the actual issue. People get mad, there are misunderstandings; these things happen. But often, there is conflict because expectations have been broken. Avoiding conflict in the first place can be greatly helped by expectations management. This sounds like a fancy term, but it just means being honest and upfront. And once the expectations have been broken, you have to actually address the problem. Emotional management, conflict de-escalation, empathy - these are all great, but pointless if, amongst all that, you neglect to fix the problem that caused the conflict in the first place.

[antonvojkovicssw]

When it comes to dealing with conflicts, people should always approach the situations with the mindset of resolving the issue and not with the idea of things need to go the way I want or I think it's better.

[cvionnet]

The olive branch tip is a good one!
Trying to de-escalate conflicts as soon as possible, as it can rapidly have a big impact.

Resolving conflicts can be quite challenging when you're not trained and English is your second language, especially for choosing the most adaptable terms and vocabulary that avoid escalating things.

[samsmithssw]

Conflict happens in every aspect of life, the most important things to remember when involved are; to not act impulsively / out of emotion, and always make sure the other person feels validated and heard. I'm a firm believer that you can always reach a middle ground.

[Marxoz]

With so many personalities, cultures and opinions in the work place, conflict is inevitable. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and it is rare that a conflicting situation has a right and wrong person. That is why good communication is important in situations like this, with listening being the most important part. Always make an effort to listen and understand the other person's point of view rather than just forcing your point across. It will help with getting to a resolution quicker and peacefully.

Also, eat before you have difficult conversations. Being hangry does not help 😂

[sylhuang]

Miscommunication and conflict are not always equivalent, although the former usually leads to the latter. From my experience, 'proving you're right' is not the key to resolve the conflict. Making people happy and willing to step back for each other and embrace the difference would work most of time (yet even harder to achieve than proving you're right)

[AnkyChe]

Love this week's topic. Conflict is inevitable so it's important to learn how to deal with it. Bad moods may escalate the conflicts. So I think calm down and put yourself in someone else's shoes is important.

[Berber-Mama]

Looking after the moods during communication is always a good tip. Focus on the issue, not the person.

[jimmidier]

Conflicts reflect differenct stance and interest of people, and the way to address them generally depends on the specific scenario, as in whether it's a centralized system where someone owns the final decision, or a decentralized system where there's no trusted authority. Sacrifice is essentially inevitable though.

[johnxu16]

It is always difficult to resolve conflicts, especially encountering inevitable competition of interests.
There are a lot of good tips and they help me to learn how to win non-constant-sum games.

[calumjs]

Conflict in the workplace can have advantages when managed effectively. It can lead to increased creativity and innovation, improved decision-making, increased motivation and engagement, stronger relationships, and personal growth and development. However, it's important to approach conflict with care and to work towards finding positive and productive resolutions. Conflict that is left unresolved or that escalates can have serious negative consequences for individuals and for the organization as a whole.

[Freego1783]

Really nice topic, communication is so important.

Stay calm and don't get defensive ! People tend to take everything personally in these situations.

[rubycogan]

Great topic. SSW focuses a lot on avoiding misscomunations, and this is an excellent addition to it. More specific tips on how to manage your emotional response first would be good as dealing with the problem properly is much harder when you still feel very upset.

[BrookJeynes]

Communication is such an important thing to have in the workplace. Giving both sides a chance to tell their story and coming into a conflict with the mindset of growth are two ways we can help resolve conflicts

[UlyssesMaclaren]

Did Chat GPT write this? 🤣😂 Ulysses Maclaren | SSW General Manager<http://www.ssw.com.au/People/Ulysses-Maclaren?utm_source=emailsignature> | +61 419 418 232<https://www.ssw.com.au/ssw/Company/Offices/?utm_source=emailsignature> | Ping me on ***@***.***> From: Calum Simpson [SSW] ***@***.***> Sent: Saturday, March 4, 2023 12:07 AM To: SSWConsulting/SSW.Rules.Content ***@***.***> Cc: Ulysses Maclaren [SSW] ***@***.***>; Mention ***@***.***> Subject: Re: [SSWConsulting/SSW.Rules.Content] Conflict - Do you fix problems quickly?- Chewing the Fat 📈 (Discussion #5102) Conflict in the workplace can have advantages when managed effectively. It can lead to increased creativity and innovation, improved decision-making, increased motivation and engagement, stronger relationships, and personal growth and development. However, it's important to approach conflict with care and to work towards finding positive and productive resolutions. Conflict that is left unresolved or that escalates can have serious negative consequences for individuals and for the organization as a whole. — Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub<https://aus01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2FSSWConsulting%2FSSW.Rules.Content%2Fdiscussions%2F5102%23discussioncomment-5190159&data=05%7C01%7Culy%40ssw.com.au%7C92b63388b9e04ba55e8308db1be82d00%7Cac2f7c34b93548e9abdc11e5d4fcb2b0%7C0%7C0%7C638134456230520495%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=iN%2BrD9aBUYgNP1OaaviqCFuzl5TDW6cnA8tdJPDrcgA%3D&reserved=0>, or unsubscribe<https://aus01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Fnotifications%2Funsubscribe-auth%2FAK3PNWXSXOJU47WBILW4VETW2HUHFANCNFSM6AAAAAAVNE4MDE&data=05%7C01%7Culy%40ssw.com.au%7C92b63388b9e04ba55e8308db1be82d00%7Cac2f7c34b93548e9abdc11e5d4fcb2b0%7C0%7C0%7C638134456230520495%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=QGcDr9ZiKaclP7DYBmhvA3kST79kE4dCmWEkC1sSagI%3D&reserved=0>. You are receiving this because you were mentioned.Message ID: ***@***.******@***.***>>

[calumjs]

You got me

[danielmackay]

This is a valuable topic, and through being aware of how certain people might feel in some situations we can avoid conflicts and create a much more pleasant workplace.

I loved the rules about fairness and understanding decisions you may not agree with.

On a similar topic I also think it helps to have the right mindset when receiving feedback. Sometimes there may be a tendency to take the feedback as negative and get defensive. In reality, the majority of feedback comes from a good place and a desire for you to improve.

[TobyChurches]

This is definitely a great area to discuss as part of Chewing the Fat! It is only natural to have conflicting ideas in the workplace, however, it is essential that these disagreements are dealt with appropriately. Even if you disagree with an idea it's important that you take the time to try and understand their point without completely dismissing it.

[jontygardner]

This is a great topic! 👏🏽

The 3 biggest tips I love from this are:

1. Stay calm and listen.

2. Action the issue asap

3. Be transparent and brainstorm solutions together

Address the issue as an external thing and not a personal attack. Don't let emotions get in the way of tackling an issue and resolving something that is bugging someone. E.g. If your scum master is getting annoyed at you for sending your daily scrum emails late, don't be personally offended, take it as a growing moment for your professional career. Set yourself an automated reminder every day at 9:15 AM and tell your scrum master you have done this so you should be much better at sending it out on time!

[jernejk]

I believe most hard to manage conflicts on projects come from a different source then it appears.

For instance, I had some non-SSW developers openly criticising on how we work and our code, only to come to understanding they are either threaten for their job/pay or that they’ll have to continue working on the project and they would get the blame if things are not working after we left. I usually resolve this behaviour by understanding not only the things they complain about but also how would they have done and if they believe that for given info and time, they would have done a better job. More often then not, we end up on friendly terms but it can take weeks or months before they understand what they are doing isn’t helping anyone.

I had Product Owners who were stressed about delivery dates all the time even though we were on time and we had conflicts whether or not we’ll deliver. It turns out, they had many developers in the past who massively underestimated and even hid the fact they were very late. In many cases, these things are not subconscious and you find out when you find patterns in behaviour or how various suggested solutions make them feel. When understood that, I had 1:1 chat with the person every 2-days for 5 minutes on top of daily scrum and brief them on how I feel we are going with the time and what he can do to make sure we have no blockers. It made no change to the project but it made the client feel more at ease. (Of course we delivered 😊)

In short, I like to understand the nature of the conflict as that allows me to adjust my angle and whether I need to involve more people to resolve the conflict like Uly/Penny or Adam. As long the conflict isn’t malicious or political, they can be resolved through understanding and action. Many conflict may happen out of logical but many escalates because we are human.

I think it’s important to understand that in many cases we enter in the projects as outsiders.

Some client’s developers may not look at us as people who are there to help them but people who threaten their positions or even jobs. They might not know why they weren’t good enough for the project or once we leave, will they be on their own dealing with everything and get blamed for our work. They might unintentionally cause conflicts to solidify their importance.

And for Product Owners, we are liability for them from day one, as they don’t know us and they might be responsible if we fail. It can be a heavy toll on them when things are not going well. They might cause conflicts out of stress and the fear of unknown.

[Rathi96]

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