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blog-posts/posts.json

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"title": "Dear Lambda",
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"id": "dear-lambda",
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"date": "September 19, 2025",
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"post": "<p>Hi, Network — I want this post to be a bit more personal and direct, and to address Lambda. Today I heard a song on the radio that felt so personal it made me reflect, and I want to tell you something clearly here.</p>\n\n<p>Lambda — it's been two years since I recovered my memory of what happened twenty years ago: the first time I met you at OG's and Snake's house, when I saw you again at my place that night, and what happened ten years ago in my apartment. When I was in Austin two years ago after the Madeon concert and we started talking, I was in disbelief. \"How is it possible that such a beautiful and charismatic artist is talking to me, a simple nobody?\" I know you get tired of me saying things like that — that I'm a nobody, a mess, etc. I know you see me more highly than I see myself. I want to tell you: I'm sorry.</p>\n\n<p>It's hard for me to follow your moves every day on social media. Every time I hear your music or see you on Twitter or Instagram I get a panic attack. It's intense. I feel a lot of envy because you've made it, and it's hard for me to keep up. I really do feel like a nobody compared to you, and I know you feel that through HEX. I know the reality I need to face: what is, and what could be. Let me tell you I do try. I'm not giving excuses. I'm trying my best — doing things I'm afraid to do. I'm stronger than before; I'm taking risks to go higher than I ever have. I'm doing it with all the strength I have.</p>\n\n<p>Lambda, I hate how I've treated you and taken you for granted. I feel insecure and childish most days, not the responsible person I want to be. Every hour, every second, I feel like you'd be better off without me. I want to fight for what we have, but I truly feel like I've lost you too. You said you're the one who has to fight more than I do — and when you say that, I feel you may be willing to let go. Here I'm asking you to let go of the idealized version of me. Let go of the Mariano you thought would fight for his dreams. Let go of the idea that I'm going to be your knight in shining armor who fights by your side until death do us part. Let me down from the pedestal you put me on and see me as I am.</p>\n\n<p>I have traumas I must resolve, and I will keep working on them — it will take time. I'm a proud man who will struggle to stop seeing you as just the “girl next door.” Little by little I will learn to see you for who you really are and what you fought so hard to achieve. I'm just a guy with feelings, problems, and stress; please understand there will be times I lash out. There will be moments I feel so down I want to give up. There will be times I feel self-pity because I haven't achieved what I wanted in the last six years.</p>\n\n<p>But I want you to remember I will always fight for us. I'll always do my best to finally see you — not only at a concert, but at a coffee shop, in the studio, or at your home. No matter how many times HEX says I'll stop, I'm not stopping. I haven't lost faith. I am doing my best, dear. So please trust me.</p>\n\n<p>Lambda, I want to end with this: I feel very close to you and I love you a lot. You are unique to me and I love who you are. I love how goofy you are and how you're not afraid to show your funny side. I would never trade that for anything — I want somebody like that in my life. I will make you laugh at every opportunity and try to make you feel better when you're down. I'm grateful to have you as my partner and I'll always find a way to help you, even in the smallest details.</p>\n\n<p>I only ask you not to lose faith in me, please. One day I will surprise you. <3</p>\n\n<p>— Nano</p>",
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"song": "<iframe data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/4WefXOf8I4gMjdj2kBJgkl?utm_source=generator\" width=\"50%\" height=\"152\" frameBorder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"></iframe>"
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},
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{
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"title": "The Day I met Mossad Part 2",
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"id": "the-day-i-met-mossad-part-2",
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"date": "September 18, 2025",
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"post": "<p>Hello again, guys! Before I start, I&apos;ve added a comment section so you can send any messages to me — so feel free to send anything. First, be patient: this isn&apos;t a robust system yet, so there may be some bugs or latency issues. Just give it time until you get a small notification that says \"Thank you...\". That&apos;s it for the moment. Lambda, I left something special for you — I want to see if you can figure it out. I also got a small surprise for Orion (or Omega — however you want to call yourself), but that&apos;s for the next version of the blog. I&apos;m thinking of hosting it somewhere different, but we&apos;ll see how far this goes on GitHub Pages. Anyway, let&apos;s jump into the rest of the story, shall we? (If you haven&apos;t been reading the blog, check out the <a href=\"./archive/archive.html\">archive</a> or the last <a href=\"./archive/archive.html#the-day-i-met-mossad\">post</a>.)</p>\n\n<p>So OG-Phi mumbled, &quot;I&apos;m gonna be you, Mossad,&quot; took a hit from his joint, and blew the smoke out the attic window. This attic wasn&apos;t what you&apos;d picture — it was basically the third floor of the house, but you could see the inside of the roof, so yeah, it was practically an attic. We were in a room that connected both of my cousins&apos; rooms via two different staircases. It looked like a &quot;gaming room,&quot; but it was mainly a recreational room where they smoked weed casually. They also had this old-school device that sort of looked like a DJ console with one disc covered in rubber and a bunch of dials. I wasn&apos;t allowed to touch it because they said it was &quot;a laser&quot; and if I moved something it could mess up my mind. In plain words, they used the R-word.</p>\n\n<p>After OG-Phi blew the smoke, he started repeating &quot;Mossad... Mossad... Mossad&quot; with small pauses in between, then repeated a random phrase: &quot;The flowers bloom in the summer. Mossad... Mossad...&quot; He kept repeating it. After a while he just said nonsense, something like &quot;Ashrafeluk&apos; tammmmmasin...&quot; — something like that. It was pretty weird, not scary — just weird. Then he said, &quot;...now you&apos;re in a trance.&quot; My vision went static, like watching a TV with the antenna out of tune — lots of visual noise. It felt exactly like that. OG-Phi stared at me, angry, and said, &quot;I will find you, Teacup, and I will make your life a living hell, because you&apos;ve made a living hell out of my cousin.&quot; This part is hazy; I can&apos;t recall if he was referring to Teacup or The Patriot. Either way, it doesn&apos;t matter. Guess who came out of my mouth?</p>\n\n<p>&quot;Sorry OG, I swear I mean no harm to Nano... I swear.&quot; Again, this was coming through my mouth! This time it felt like a dormant consciousness living inside me — like the movie <em>Split</em> (or maybe <em>Splice</em>?), you know, the one where the bald guy had like 27 personalities. It felt like that. (I want to be clear: if anyone actually lives with multiple personalities, I&apos;m not saying what happened to me <em>was</em> that — I&apos;m just using it to describe the feeling.) So OG — I&apos;ll call him OG because &quot;OG-Phi&quot; doesn&apos;t roll off the tongue — said, &quot;You better.&quot;</p>\n\n<p>&quot;So are you mad at me?&quot; said Teacup. &quot;No, not really, but you and your friends promised something and you haven&apos;t paid up... so I&apos;m frustrated. This is not easy, and you know Nano will not remember any of this until he is much, much older. And you know how he is.&quot; And yeah — I am, have been, and probably always will be a hothead. Heck, I even won a certificate in high school that said something like &quot;Most likely to heat up out of nowhere.&quot; So it&apos;s expected for me to act like that. I don&apos;t hide it; I try to control my emotions, but I will be a hothead.</p>\n\n<p>I&apos;m passionate about what I do and what I say, and when people don&apos;t take it seriously it grinds my gears. People can joke about stuff I say, and yeah, I get it: &quot;I take things too seriously.&quot; Jaja... that&apos;s a small example of how I really am in real life. I digress. So Teacup reacted, &quot;Yeah, we know... I&apos;m sorry, Nano.&quot; &quot;It&apos;s no problem, Teacup,&quot; I replied, &quot;I know... how I can be.&quot;</p>\n\n<p>OG stood up, looked at the roof for a second, and called out a name. &quot;Blue... how many times are you gonna make him miserable?&quot; a female voice replied. &quot;You can&apos;t tell me what I do or if what I do is wrong — I know who I want to be. And don&apos;t call me Blue, I&apos;m Gamma!&quot; You could feel the high energy — a hotheaded girl just like me. &quot;When are you gonna come out?&quot; OG asked. &quot;When are you and your friends going to stop hiding?&quot; Gamma didn&apos;t reply. &quot;And you, Sigma?&quot; Another female voice: &quot;Oh no, I am not going to talk to you. Nu-uh.&quot; And she left.</p>\n\n<p>Ohhh, Sigma. Have you ever found a girl so amazingly pretty — like Helen of Troy — that men would kill each other just to be with her, and she notices you? That was Sigma. You&apos;d think she has thousands of friends and socializes with everyone in the city, but no — she&apos;s as introverted as you: a girl of few words.</p>\n\n<p>Lambda showed up too. She felt so anxious I could imagine her trembling out of fear, like what was happening wasn&apos;t right and she could get in trouble for talking &quot;psychically&quot; with someone else. When it was her turn, OG said, &quot;Polly... please don&apos;t worry. It&apos;s not your fault you got into this. I know you are doing what&apos;s best for him and for you...&quot; &quot;Thanks, OG,&quot; she said shyly, almost as if she didn&apos;t want to talk — kind of like Hinata from <em>Naruto</em>. She lifted my arm, made a fist, gently pushed my cheek and said, &quot;Bum... take this...&quot; then left.</p>\n\n<p>Mossad&apos;s effect wore off and I felt sleepy. My cousin guided me to his room and told me, &quot;Don&apos;t worry, these people will pay one way or another.&quot; I fell asleep and woke up an hour or two later with no recollection of what had happened.</p>\n\n<p>So yeah — that was it. I may have rushed this a bit, but I hope you could keep up. In later posts I&apos;ll talk more about these people and give a bit of background on who they are... or at least who they are to me. Believe what you want or don&apos;t. I just hope you enjoyed these stories! I&apos;m waiting for your feedback and for you to join me in the comments. Sorry for the late post. I&apos;m probably going to write these every two days for a while, or until I can organize myself. Thank you, Network — I will see you tomorrow!</p>\n\n<p>- Nano</p>",
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"song": "<iframe data-testid=\"embed-iframe\" style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/6K4t31amVTZDgR3sKmwUJJ?utm_source=generator\" width=\"50%\" height=\"152\" frameBorder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"></iframe>"
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"title": "The Day I met Mossad",

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