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| 1 | +# The Mentoring Mindset |
| 2 | + |
| 3 | +## What _is_ a mindset? |
| 4 | + |
| 5 | +Before examining the mentoring mindset, it may be helpful to understand what a mindset is. |
| 6 | +According to the Oxford English Dictionary, `Mindset` is an "established set of attitudes, esp. regarded as typical of a particular group's social or cultural values." |
| 7 | +A person may have an individual motivation for engaging in an activity, but a mindset directs that the motivation is in line with a group's values. |
| 8 | +For the Exercism mentor, that means approaching the mentoring process within the spirit of the Exercism community. |
| 9 | + |
| 10 | +## The spirit of the Exercism community |
| 11 | + |
| 12 | +It can be helpful to review the intent of Exercism as expressed on the [About][exercism-about] page. |
| 13 | +All of it is worth reading and considering, especially |
| 14 | + |
| 15 | +- "We’re building a place where anyone can learn and master programming for free, without ever feeling lost or stupid." |
| 16 | +- "Exercism should be enjoyable, challenging and valuable." |
| 17 | +- "Exercism should encourage a growth-mindset, clear and empathetic communication, and emphasize the value in learning together." |
| 18 | +- "Exercism should feel safe and nurturing." |
| 19 | +- "Exercism focusses on the learning journey, not the destination. The process and enjoyment of learning is more important than absolute factual correctness." |
| 20 | + |
| 21 | +## The spirit of the mentee |
| 22 | + |
| 23 | +The spirit of a mentee could be seemingly off-putting. |
| 24 | + |
| 25 | +Some mentees may have something in their comment which is self-deprecatory. |
| 26 | +They may say something like "I'm not very smart" or "I don't understand" or "I'm not very good at this". |
| 27 | +It may be tempting to address such statements directly in the Exercism spirit of empathy and nurturing. |
| 28 | +As a mentor, though, it may be more effective to express the specific things you like about their solution |
| 29 | +than to give them some kind of vague reassurance. |
| 30 | +If there is nothing you can honestly praise about their solution, you can congratulate them on passing the tests, |
| 31 | +or, if they didn't pass the tests, at least acknowledge their effort. |
| 32 | + |
| 33 | +Some mentees may start their comment with something that may come across as negative. |
| 34 | +They may say something like "Why do I have to do so-and-so?" |
| 35 | +It may feel as if they are complaining in the manner of, "Why do I have to eat my peas? I _hate_ peas!" |
| 36 | +You may be put off from mentoring the person because they seem to be off to a confrontational start. |
| 37 | +But what can seem like defiance or a complaint could just be a simple inquiry, even if expressed a bit abruptly. |
| 38 | + |
| 39 | +```exercism/note |
| 40 | +Many mentees do not have English as their first language. |
| 41 | +This can be another reason why a mentee's initial comments may seem less friendly than they really are. |
| 42 | +``` |
| 43 | + |
| 44 | +It's best to ignore what emotion their comment may have triggered and simply respond to the question. |
| 45 | + |
| 46 | +Those are just two examples illustrating how the perceived spirit of the mentee should not affect the attitude of the mentor in responding to them. |
| 47 | + |
| 48 | +## The spirit of the mentor |
| 49 | + |
| 50 | +The spirit of the mentor could be based on either pride or humility. |
| 51 | +A mentor may feel they are _entitled_ to mentor because they are smart and/or have a certain amount of experience. |
| 52 | +They may feel they should mentor because they know better than others. |
| 53 | +A mentor whose spirit is based on pride may still approach the mentee with patience and polite guidance, |
| 54 | +even though it may be more out of magnanimity than empathy. |
| 55 | + |
| 56 | +Or a mentor may have the spirit of humility. |
| 57 | +They may be keenly aware of what challenges they faced in learning how to program. |
| 58 | +They may know they don't have all the answers, but they know _some_, and they are willing to share their hard-earned knowledge. |
| 59 | +A mentor whose spirit is based on humility is still human, and may be tempted to respond to a difficult mentoring session in a |
| 60 | +curt or argumentative way. |
| 61 | +Even a person with the best intentions needs to be vigilant when having a bad day. |
| 62 | + |
| 63 | +There is a third spirit which is a variant on the spirit of pride, and that is the spirit of insecurity. |
| 64 | +A mentor may feel insecure about their reputation and seek validation from mentees as a way to compensate. |
| 65 | +They may overwhelm the mentee with voluminous data and references to show how well-informed they are. |
| 66 | +The mentee may get useful information out of such a data-dump, but that is the secondary objective of the insecure mentor. |
| 67 | +The primary objective is to demonstrate how knowledgeable the mentor is. |
| 68 | +Although motivated by a different objective, the insecure mentor may still succeed in achieving the goals of the Exercism mindset |
| 69 | +to the extent they don't lose the mentee in the weeds. |
| 70 | + |
| 71 | +## The spirit of the truth |
| 72 | + |
| 73 | +Factual correctness is certainly important and has its place. |
| 74 | +For example, it's important that imperial units of measurement are not used where metric units of measurement are expected. |
| 75 | +Otherwise, a [$327 million Mars Climate Orbiter can crash][crash]. |
| 76 | +Certainly, a person using a language professionally is expected to observe correctness as a key requirement. |
| 77 | + |
| 78 | +For someone _learning_ a language, however, the requirements are a bit different. |
| 79 | +For one, we don't want to discourage the person from continuing to learn the language. |
| 80 | +For some mentors, especially the ones with a spirit of pride, there may be a feeling of accomplishment in getting someone to realize |
| 81 | +they may not be suited to a particular language, or that this is not the right stage at which to learn that language. |
| 82 | +Although that may be an acceptable outcome in some work environments, it is not an outcome that is within the mindset of Exercism. |
| 83 | + |
| 84 | +```exercism/note |
| 85 | +One exception to that is for someone who is learning their first programming language. |
| 86 | +Exercism is intended for someone who already knows how to program and wants to learn another language or improve their existing skills. |
| 87 | +The upcoming Learn to Code platform will be directed at people who are just learning how to program. |
| 88 | +``` |
| 89 | + |
| 90 | +Often, someone looking to be mentored has been studying a programming language for a few weeks or months and is seeking to improve on the basics they've learned. |
| 91 | +That person may or may not have experience with another language. |
| 92 | +If this is their first language, but they've picked up basic keywords and concepts, then they stand a good chance of benefitting from being mentored. |
| 93 | +They may require a bit more patience and explanation, which the mentor may not have realized when they first accepted the mentoring request. |
| 94 | +Once committed to the encounter, though, the Exercism mindset is to either be as supportive and encouraging as possible, even if that requires |
| 95 | +some extra effort, or to politely suggest that the session end so the mentee can resubmit for another mentor. |
| 96 | + |
| 97 | +Of course, mentees may decide for themselves not to continue pursuing a language. |
| 98 | +Most will likely not tell us, but will simply stop solving exercises for the language. |
| 99 | +During the course of a mentoring session, however, we should be faithfully supportive and encouraging. |
| 100 | +But there are different ways to do that. |
| 101 | +One way we don't want to do it is to be [toxically positive][toxic-positivity]. |
| 102 | +For instance, it is less helpful, and may make someone feel "less than", if we encouragingly insist "I know you can figure it out" |
| 103 | +when they are having trouble understanding something. |
| 104 | +It may be more helpful to keep trying different explanations and offering other examples then to simply |
| 105 | +push them with encouragement that can sound to them like "C'mon! Don't you get it yet?" |
| 106 | + |
| 107 | +The solution a mentee arrives at, even after several iterations with a mentor, may not be the most performant, |
| 108 | +or may not be _perfectly_ conformant with coding standards. |
| 109 | +To drive the mentee for a perfect solution is an example of the absolute factual correctness that is not in the spirit of Exercism. |
| 110 | +The solution may be [good enough][good-enough], at which point the refinement of technique can be reserved for another mentoring session. |
| 111 | + |
| 112 | +## The spirit of obligation |
| 113 | + |
| 114 | +A mentor may not be sure of their obligations. |
| 115 | +The obligations are few and simple: to be helpful and encouraging. |
| 116 | +If at any point the mentor feels they can't be either of those, then it may be best to politely suggest that the session end |
| 117 | +so the mentee can resubmit for another mentor. |
| 118 | +It may be best for the mentor to invite the menteee to end the discussion, but if the mentor feels the need to end the discussion, |
| 119 | +it would be polite to do so with a final comment explaining why. |
| 120 | +Although it may be tempting to focus on the faults of the mentee that made the session unsatisfactory, |
| 121 | +it would be more in the spirit of Exercism for the mentor to not focus blame on the mentee. |
| 122 | + |
| 123 | +## The spirit of cooperation |
| 124 | + |
| 125 | +The cooperative spirit of Exercism is best expressed by not just giving away the (better) solution to the exercise, |
| 126 | +but by describing other appproaches that could be used and leaving it to the mentee to code the implementation of those suggestions. |
| 127 | +The solution could be made _optionally_ available to the mentee in case they get stuck. |
| 128 | +It could be a snippet example in a collapsible details section, or it could be a link to a published solution. |
| 129 | +It would be the mentee's choice whether to expand the section or follow the link. |
| 130 | + |
| 131 | +It's possible the mentee may acknowledge a preference for a suggestion, but say they will keep it in mind for the future. |
| 132 | +The mentor may suggest that another iteration could be submitted that is based on the suggestion, |
| 133 | +but the mentee may decide to end the discussion without modifying their original solution. |
| 134 | +Although it may a bit embarrassing to have a published solution marked as being mentored by you that you think could be better, |
| 135 | +it is in the spirit of cooperation to not push the mentee to implement the suggestion if they seem disinclined. |
| 136 | + |
| 137 | +Another way the cooperative spirit works is by the mentor learning from the mentee. |
| 138 | +During the course of the session the mentee may bring up something the mentor doesn't know. |
| 139 | +A mentor is not expected to present an "all-knowing" facade. |
| 140 | +It's perfectly fine for a mentor to express that they didn't know or had not thought of something the mentee brings up. |
| 141 | +Letting the mentee know that they taught you something can be one of the biggest boosts you can give. |
| 142 | +It's part of the cooperative learning process. |
| 143 | + |
| 144 | +[exercism-about]: https://exercism.org/about |
| 145 | +[crash]: https://everydayastronaut.com/mars-climate-orbiter/ |
| 146 | +[toxic-positivity]: https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/mind/well-being/toxic-positivity |
| 147 | +[good-enough]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_good_enough |
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