diff --git a/lightning/src/lib.rs b/lightning/src/lib.rs
index 5c608d9607a..5fd0b5e5076 100644
--- a/lightning/src/lib.rs
+++ b/lightning/src/lib.rs
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@
 //! * `grind_signatures`
 
 #![cfg_attr(not(any(test, fuzzing, feature = "_test_utils")), deny(missing_docs))]
-#![cfg_attr(not(any(test, feature = "_test_utils")), forbid(unsafe_code))]
+#![cfg_attr(not(any(test, feature = "_test_utils")), deny(unsafe_code))]
 
 #![deny(rustdoc::broken_intra_doc_links)]
 #![deny(rustdoc::private_intra_doc_links)]
diff --git a/lightning/src/onion_message/messenger.rs b/lightning/src/onion_message/messenger.rs
index 6009a276976..176a973bcdf 100644
--- a/lightning/src/onion_message/messenger.rs
+++ b/lightning/src/onion_message/messenger.rs
@@ -1576,7 +1576,7 @@ where
 	///
 	/// See the trait-level documentation of [`EventsProvider`] for requirements.
 	pub async fn process_pending_events_async<
-		Future: core::future::Future<Output = Result<(), ReplayEvent>> + core::marker::Unpin,
+		Future: core::future::Future<Output = Result<(), ReplayEvent>>,
 		H: Fn(Event) -> Future,
 	>(
 		&self, handler: H,
diff --git a/lightning/src/util/async_poll.rs b/lightning/src/util/async_poll.rs
index c18ada73a47..dcb06867c70 100644
--- a/lightning/src/util/async_poll.rs
+++ b/lightning/src/util/async_poll.rs
@@ -9,68 +9,108 @@
 
 //! Some utilities to make working with the standard library's [`Future`]s easier
 
+// The `unsafe` in this module is required to support `!Unpin` futures without
+// lots of extra unnecessary boxing.
+#![allow(unsafe_code)]
+
 use crate::prelude::*;
 use core::future::Future;
 use core::marker::Unpin;
+use core::mem;
 use core::pin::Pin;
 use core::task::{Context, Poll};
 
-pub(crate) enum ResultFuture<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Copy + Unpin> {
-	Pending(F),
+pub(crate) enum ResultFuture<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Unpin> {
+	Pending(/* #[pin] */ F),
 	Ready(Result<(), E>),
 }
 
-pub(crate) struct MultiResultFuturePoller<
-	F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>> + Unpin,
-	E: Copy + Unpin,
-> {
-	futures_state: Vec<ResultFuture<F, E>>,
+/// A future that polls a set of futures concurrently and returns their results.
+///
+/// This implementation is effectively `futures::future::join_all` with no "Big"
+/// set optimization:
+/// <https://github.com/rust-lang/futures-rs/blob/6f9a15f6e30cb3a2a79aabb9386dfaf282ef174d/futures-util/src/future/join_all.rs>
+pub(crate) struct MultiResultFuturePoller<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Unpin> {
+	// Use a pinned boxed slice instead of a Vec to make it harder to accidentally
+	// move the inner values. Someone could easily resize the Vec, thus moving all
+	// the inner values and violating the Pin contract.
+	futures_state: Pin<Box<[ResultFuture<F, E>]>>,
 }
 
-impl<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>> + Unpin, E: Copy + Unpin> MultiResultFuturePoller<F, E> {
+impl<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Unpin> MultiResultFuturePoller<F, E> {
 	pub fn new(futures_state: Vec<ResultFuture<F, E>>) -> Self {
-		Self { futures_state }
+		Self { futures_state: Box::into_pin(futures_state.into_boxed_slice()) }
 	}
 }
 
-impl<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>> + Unpin, E: Copy + Unpin> Future
-	for MultiResultFuturePoller<F, E>
-{
+impl<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Unpin> Future for MultiResultFuturePoller<F, E> {
 	type Output = Vec<Result<(), E>>;
-	fn poll(self: Pin<&mut Self>, cx: &mut Context<'_>) -> Poll<Vec<Result<(), E>>> {
-		let mut have_pending_futures = false;
-		let futures_state = &mut self.get_mut().futures_state;
-		for state in futures_state.iter_mut() {
-			match state {
-				ResultFuture::Pending(ref mut fut) => match Pin::new(fut).poll(cx) {
-					Poll::Ready(res) => {
-						*state = ResultFuture::Ready(res);
-					},
-					Poll::Pending => {
-						have_pending_futures = true;
-					},
-				},
-				ResultFuture::Ready(_) => continue,
+
+	fn poll(mut self: Pin<&mut Self>, cx: &mut Context<'_>) -> Poll<Vec<Result<(), E>>> {
+		let mut any_pending_futures = false;
+		let futures_state: &mut Pin<Box<[_]>> = &mut self.futures_state;
+
+		// Poll all the inner futures in order.
+		for state in iter_pin_mut(futures_state.as_mut()) {
+			if state.poll(cx).is_pending() {
+				any_pending_futures = true;
 			}
 		}
 
-		if have_pending_futures {
-			Poll::Pending
-		} else {
-			let results = futures_state
-				.drain(..)
-				.filter_map(|e| match e {
-					ResultFuture::Ready(res) => Some(res),
+		if !any_pending_futures {
+			// Reuse the Box<[_]> allocation for the output Vec<_>.
+			let results: Pin<Box<[_]>> = mem::replace(futures_state, Box::pin([]));
+			// SAFETY: all the inner values are simple `Ready(Result<(), E>)`
+			// values, which are `Unpin`.
+			let results: Box<[_]> = unsafe { Pin::into_inner_unchecked(results) };
+			let results = Vec::from(results);
+
+			let result = results
+				.into_iter()
+				.map(|state| match state {
+					ResultFuture::Ready(res) => res,
 					ResultFuture::Pending(_) => {
-						debug_assert!(
-							false,
-							"All futures are expected to be ready if none are pending"
-						);
-						None
+						unreachable!("All futures are expected to be ready if none are pending")
 					},
 				})
 				.collect();
-			Poll::Ready(results)
+
+			Poll::Ready(result)
+		} else {
+			Poll::Pending
+		}
+	}
+}
+
+impl<F: Future<Output = Result<(), E>>, E: Unpin> Future for ResultFuture<F, E> {
+	type Output = ();
+
+	fn poll(mut self: Pin<&mut Self>, cx: &mut Context<'_>) -> Poll<Self::Output> {
+		// SAFETY: just a standard enum pin-project, which is safe as we don't
+		// move anything during Pin<&mut Self> -> &mut Self -> Pin<&mut F>.
+		let this: &mut Self = unsafe { self.as_mut().get_unchecked_mut() };
+		match this {
+			ResultFuture::Pending(fut) => {
+				let fut: Pin<&mut F> = unsafe { Pin::new_unchecked(fut) };
+				match fut.poll(cx) {
+					Poll::Ready(res) => {
+						self.set(ResultFuture::Ready(res));
+						Poll::Ready(())
+					},
+					Poll::Pending => Poll::Pending,
+				}
+			},
+			ResultFuture::Ready(_) => Poll::Ready(()),
 		}
 	}
 }
+
+// Pin project from a pinned mut slice into an iterator of pinned mut entries.
+fn iter_pin_mut<T>(slice: Pin<&mut [T]>) -> impl Iterator<Item = Pin<&mut T>> {
+	// quoted from `futures::future::join_all`:
+	// > SAFETY: `std` _could_ make this unsound if it were to decide Pin's
+	// > invariants aren't required to transmit through slices. Otherwise this has
+	// > the same safety as a normal field pin projection.
+	let slice: &mut [T] = unsafe { Pin::get_unchecked_mut(slice) };
+	slice.iter_mut().map(|x| unsafe { Pin::new_unchecked(x) })
+}