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src/data/blog/untilibleedou.md

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---
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author: Krishna Chaitanya
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pubDatetime: 2023-11-07T09:05:00Z
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modDatetime: 2023-11-07T09:11:34.400Z
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title: Until I Bleed Out – She is Just a Nightmare Now
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slug: xo-untilbleedout
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featured: false
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draft: false
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tags:
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- khc
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- snap
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- Harshi
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- weeknd
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- Until I Bleed Out
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description:
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Harshi left, but my dreams didn’t get the memo. Now I’m just a sad boy listening to The Weeknd, trying to uninstall her from my brain like a failed Windows update.
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---
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I don’t know what is happening to me, but my dreams are messed up. Every night, she is there. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face, I hear her voice. But I know she is not mine. She will never be mine. Still, my mind is not understanding this simple thing.
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From House of Balloons to Tears in the Rain, everything The Weeknd wrote, it feels like he wrote just for me. Every word, every line, it’s like he is reading my heart and putting it into songs. And now Until I Bleed Out is hitting me hard. It’s exactly how I feel.
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“I wanna cut you outta my dreams
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‘Til I’m bleeding out, ‘Til I’m bleeding”
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I just want her out of my mind. Out of my dreams. But no matter how much I try, she keeps coming back. Every night, every dream. It’s like a nightmare that won’t go away.
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Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I thought something was there when there was nothing. But now I know, she was never mine. She never even looked at me the way I looked at her. I was just imagining everything.
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Harshi is gone. Maybe she was never there in the first place. But my stupid heart is still stuck. I don’t want to feel this anymore. I just want to erase everything. Just like The Weeknd said – I want to bleed it out of my system.
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One day, these dreams will stop. One day, I will forget. One day, I will finally be free. But today is not that day.

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