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ALL YOUR FRIENDS, [[Abandoned you for the slime]] YOU ARE?
SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[Drain]] [[Drain]]??
LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN???
WELL HAVE I GOT A [[Specil Deal]] FOR LONELY [[Hearts]] LIKE YOU!!
IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your Life]]
THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE [[Silly Strings]]
WHY BE THE [[Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE
WHEN YOU CAN BE A
[[BIG SHOT!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!!]]
THAT'S RIGHT!! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A [[BIG SHOT]]!!
AND I HAVE JUST.
THE THING.
YOU NEED.
THAT'S
[[Hyperlink Blocked]].
YOU WANT IT.
YOU WANT [[Hyperlink Blocked]], DON'T YOU.
WELL HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW ME.
YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]].
YOU'RE LIGHT neR< AREN'T YOU?
YOU'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]]
WHY DON'T YOU
[[Show it off?]]
HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAH!!
Battle
ENL4RGE Yourself
TRANSMIT KROMER
MEET LOCAL SINGLES STRAIGHT FROM [My]
Get Big and WIN [W1ld Pr1zes!]
[Press F1 For] HELP
HELP
Deals
First Deal
HEY HEY HEY! I'VE NEVER SEEN A [HeartShapedObject] LIKE THAT BEFORE!! MY EYES ARE [[Burning]] LIKE [[DVDs of ANY movie at Half-pr1ce!]] I HAVE A VERY SPECIL [Deal] FOR YOU KID!
Subsequent Reads
KID!!! IN BUSINESS YOU NEED TO SAY YOU'RE INTERESTED!!!
[TELL ME MORE]
THAT'S THE ATTITUDE YOU LITTLE [Slime]! DEALS LIKE THIS ONLY COME ONCE IN YOUR [[Ant-sized]] [[Rapidly-shrinking]] LIFE!!
BELIEVE IT OR !! I USED TO be A BIG SHOT. THE BIGGEST!!! BUT NOW... I NEED A LITTLE [[Genorisity]]
Subsequent Reads
YUM YUM I NEED A LITTLE MORE [Genorisity]
[GIVE MONEY]
YUM YUM. DELICIS KROMER. DID YOU HAVE AN YMORE?
[DON'T GIVE]
THAT'S RIGHT AND I DON'T MEAN [Money]!!! I'M A SALESMAN , I WAS NEVER IN IT FOR THE MONEY!!!
Third Deal
I WAS ONLY EVER IN IT FOR THE [Freedom]. TO MAKE YOUR OWN [Deals] TO CALL YOUR OWN [Shots] AND SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING, A LITTLE [Hyperlink Blocked] SOUNDS GOOD. DOESN;T IT?KID? DON'T YOU W4NT TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON???? TAKE THE DE4L.
Subsequent Reads
TAKE THE DEAL YOU LITTLE [Sponge]
[DON'T TAKE THE DEAL]
DEAL OR NO DEAL, THAT'S THE TV SHOW WHERE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T TAKE THE DEAL GET FILLED WITH BULLETS FIRED FROM THE HOST'S MOUTH!!!
[TAKE DEAL]
NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING AB04T! YOU GOT [Guts] KID!! THAT's [[Discomfort And Abdominal Pain]] IN MY [[Guts]]!!
Forth Deal
DONT WORRY KID I WILL GIVE YOU [Deal Insurance] ONLY FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF 1000 KROMER. AN AWESOME PRICE.! AN ABSOLUTELY [[Terrifying]] PRICE PRICES SO LOW, EVERYONE I KNOW IS [[Dead]]!!!
Subsequent Reads
YUM YUM DID YOU WANT SOME MORE INSURANCE?
[BUY INSURANCE]
YUM YUM. DELICIS KROMER. DID YOU HAVE AN YMORE?
[DON'T BUY]
WHAT!? YOU DOn'T HAVE ENOUGH [Wacky Stacks]!? Kid, you're [Killing] me! HAHAHA!! HAHAHA!!! PLEASE STOP [Killing] ME I WILL GIVE Y OU ANOTHER DEAL.
Fifth Deal
DON'T WORRY KIDS I'M AN [HonestMan] I JUST NEED YOUR [Account Details] AND THE [Number on theB4ck]! THEN YOU CAN ENJ0Y 1000 Fr3e KROmer
Subsequent Reads
YUM YUM DID YOU HAVE ANY MORE ACCOUNTS?
[GIVE ACCOUNT ACCESS]
YUM YUM GREAT DEAL KID!! YOUR A BIGSHOT!! SAVING THE WORLD!!
[REFUSE]
WHAT!?!? YOU DON"T NEED IT!?!? THAT'S A REAL BIGSHOT MOVE KID!!! YOU'RE LIKE ME... [Desperate] BUT WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT, DON'T WE!? W1LD PR1ZES, HOTSINGLE, 100 CUSTOMER, AND MOST OF ALL... [Hyperlink Blocked]. WILL YOU TAKE THE FINAL DEAL!? REMEMBER... THIS IS UP TO YOU! I WOn'T FORCE YOU.
Final Deal
[NO DEAL]
WRONG
[YES DEAL]
THEN A DEAL'S A DEAL!!! PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU KID!!!
Win
Spare
NOW ON TO THE NEXT STEP...
I'LL BE WAITING AT MY [[Home-made Storefront Site]]
IN THE [[Trash Area Closed For Repairs.]]
COME... ALONE.
AND DON'T... FORGET!
TO [[Like And Subscribe]] FOR MORE [[Hyperlink Blocked.]]
HAEAHAEAHAEAHAEAH!!
Kill
HEY!!! DIDN'T YOU EVER HEAR THE PHRASE, [Make Money, Not War]!
HOW'S AN INNOCENT GUY LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO [Rip People Off]
WHEN KIDS LIKE YOU ARE [Beating People Up],
[Spitting] IN THEIR EYES, THROWING SAND IN THEIR [Face],
[Stomping] ON THEIR TOES, YANKING THEIR [Noses],
AND NOT EVEN GIVING THEM A SINGLE CENT FOR IT!?
YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL THAT EARLIER!
AND BEEN THE FIRST TO OWN MY [Commemorative Ring]
TOO BAD! SEE YOU KID!
HEY!!! DIDN'T YOU EVER HEAR THE PHRASE, [Make Money, Not War]!
HOW'S AN INNOCENT GUY LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO [Rip People Off]
WHEN KIDS LIKE YOU ARE [Beating People Up],
[Spitting] IN THEIR EYES, THROWING SAND IN THEIR [Face],
[Stomping] ON THEIR TOES, YANKING THEIR [Noses],
AND NOT EVEN GIVING THEM A SINGLE CENT FOR IT!?
IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BEAT ME UP,
JUST BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT MY [Commemorative Ring]!
AT LEAST BUY [2]!
TOO BAD! SEE YOU KID!
Flavor Text
Encounter
DON'T YOU WANNA BE A BIG SHOT?
[CHECK]
He wants to make a DEAL, but don't give him your MONEY!
[GIVE MONEY]
(You felt your KROMER being absorbed...) (Wrong choice...?)
Turn 1
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A NICE [Splurge] EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE
