wake-up-claude

    ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
    │                                                │
    │   💤 CLAUDE IS SLEEPING                        │
    │                                                │
    │         ∧＿∧                                   │
    │        ( -ω-)  zzZ                             │
    │       _|  ⊃/(___                               │
    │      / └-(____/                                │
    │                                                │
    │   [POKE]  [POKE HARDER]  [LET HIM SLEEP]      │
    │                                                │
    └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

"yo claude wake up i need to vibe code"

what is this

a cron job that pokes claude every few hours so he's ready when i actually need him.

claude has this 5-hour quota thing where the timer starts when you first msg him. so if you msg him randomly, your quota resets at random times - usually right in the middle of your flow state.

this repo just sends "ping" to claude at strategic times so quota resets happen BEFORE i start working, not during.

WITHOUT THIS:
10:00  start coding
12:00  deep in the zone
14:00  MORE DEEP
15:00  "quota limit reached" 💀💀💀
       FLOW STATE: DESTROYED
       PRODUCTIVITY: GONE
       WILL TO LIVE: QUESTIONABLE

WITH THIS:
09:00  [robot pokes claude] "ping"
       claude: "Pong! How can I help you today?"
       robot: *leaves*
       claude: "...ok then"
10:00  start coding with FRESH QUOTA
14:00  [robot pokes again]
       full quota for afternoon session
21:00  [robot pokes again]
       full quota for late night debugging

the victims

codename	what	status
max5x	the fancy one with 5x quota	being poked
pro	the regular one	also being poked

schedule (asia/shanghai aka UTC+8)

09:00 CST  ->  "good morning claude"
14:00 CST  ->  "lunch is over claude"
19:00 CST  ->  "evening claude"

all three pokes, every day, rain or shine. claude never gets to sleep in.

the workflow

basically:

1. cron triggers at ungodly hours (UTC)
2. robot wakes up
3. robot asks claude to draw ascii art (yes really)
4. claude draws a spaceship or a cat depending on which account
5. robot ignores the masterpiece
6. robot barks at your phone
7. robot goes back to sleep
8. quota timer: reset ✓

bark notifications

because what's the point if you don't know it worked?

┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│  🐕 gm gm @ 09:00                       │
│                                         │
│  claude.exe has started successfully    │
│                                         │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘

random messages include:

• "quota tank: FULL. time to ship"
• "pew pew pew. quotas locked and loaded"
• "the AI hamsters are running"
• "aggressive typing noises"

and if it fails:

• "F in chat"
• "skill issue tbh"
• "claude said no <3"

requires BARK_SERVER and BARK_KEY secrets (uses barkme.sh). no bark? no problem. it just won't bark.

faq

Q: is this ethical? A: claude consented when he signed up for this job

Q: does claude get annoyed? A: probably. but he's polite about it

Q: what if claude is actually busy? A: he's an AI, he can multitask

Q: why ascii art instead of just "ping"? A: because checking logs and seeing a tiny spaceship going "pew pew" is infinitely better than seeing "pong"

Q: can i use this? A: fork it, i guess. your claude, your rules

disclaimer

no claudes were harmed in the making of this repository.
well, maybe slightly inconvenienced.
ok fine he's definitely annoyed.
sorry claude.

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powered by claude-quota-scheduler - the professional version that doesn't have stupid jokes in the readme